Saya Juga Ingin (Harus) Menikah

Tinggal di mana sekarang?

Kerja di mana?

Sudah punya anak berapa?

Pertanyaan nomor satu akan dengan yakin saya jawab, sekarang saya tinggal sendiri di Bandung.

Pertanyaan nomor dua pun akan saya jawab dengan cepat, saya mengajar sebagai guru Bahasa Inggris di SD, masih honorer, mudah-mudahan sih segera diangkat jadi PNS. Tambahan juga ngajar di kursusan. Maklum honer dari SD gak cukup buat bayar sewa kos.

Nah, di pertanyaan nomor 3 lah saya akan tersenyum dengan rasa kecut. Belum punya anak, suami pun belum punya.

Loh, kenapa belum menikah? Usia kamu sudah berapa? Sudah cukup tuh usianya. Malah telat tuh. Temen-temen yang lain udah punya anak. Ada yang udah punya tiga anak malah.

Saya pun akan jawab, yah gimana lagi. Mungkin memang belum waktunya kali. Atau terkadang saya akan menjawab, ga ada yang mau sepertinya.

Itulah sekelumit pertanyaan-pertanyaan jika saya bertemu dengan teman lama. Pertanyaannya tidak akan jauh dari tempat tinggal, kerja, suami dan anak. Untuk dua pertanyaan awal mungkin tidak akan kesulitan untuk menjawabnya. Tetapi untuk dua pertanyaan terakhir, aka nada rasa ‘kecut’ dalam hati. Sedikit sekali perempuan di dunia ini yang memang benar-benar tidak berniat untuk menikah. Banyak sekali alas an mereka untuk tidak menikah. Saya punya karier yang bagus, pekerjaan saya menuntut saya untuk 100% focus pada pekerjaan. Menikah akan menghancurkan karir saya. Itu mungkin salah satu alasan kenapa ada perempuan yang tidak ingin menikah.  Alasan yang lain mungkin karena mereka tidak ingin direpotkan oleh kehadiran suami dan anak. Sungguh bukan itu alasan saya belum menikah. Memang benar saya sibuk bekerja, tetapi saya tidak menjadikan pekerjaan menjadi penghambat untuk saya menjadi tidak menikah.

Menikah adalah suatu kewajiban. Menikah adalah sunah Rasul. Rasul bersabda barangsiapa yang tidak melaksanakan sunnahku maka dia tidak termasuk dalam umatku. Saya ingin mengikuti sunah beliau, saya tidak ingin menjadi yang tidak termasuk umat Rasululloh.

Banyak faktor yang membuat seorang perempuan belum menikah. Pertama, karena perempuan tersebut takut untuk menikah, takut suaminya ternyata bukan jodohnya, takut mendapatkan suami yang tidak punya uang banyak, takut nanti suaminya tidak mempunyai pekerjaan. Lalu, rasa takut bahwa seiiring waktu tidak akan mencintai suaminya lagi. Selanjutnya ketakutan bahwa dia tidak akan berbahagia setelah pernikahan. Ini adalah factor yang datang dari diri perempuan itu sendiri. Adapun factor yang dating dari luar, seperti orangtua yang terlalu mematok profil yang terlalu tinggi untuk calon menantunya.

Jadi ....
Oleh: Mega (Menyentil diri sendiri)

Sabar ya ukhti...

Kabar gembira itu datang padaku. Di suatu malam, seorang sahabat menyampaikan kabar gembira. "Teteh, saya bahagia sekali." Begitu riak kegembiraan yang dia sampaikan. Apakah yang membuat dia sangat gembira?. Oh,ternyata lelaki yang selama ini dia kagumi mengajak dia untuk menikah. Saya yang pasti ikut bahagia. saya berkata saat itu, "wah, sepertinya your dream comes true". Sungguh saya sagat bergembira untuk dia, karena sering sekali di malam-malam penuh kegelapan dia bercerita akan kekagumannya yang sangat pada sosok lelaki itu.

Sungguh hari-hari yang menegangkan bagi sahabat saya- yang sudah saya anggap adik sendiri ini. Pertemuan dengan sang idaman- istilahnya taaruf, sampai pertemuan dengan sang calon ibu mertua.

Setelah semua pertemuan demi pertemuan itu saya bertanya,"Bagaimana dengan calon mertuanya?". "Sepertinya baik, teh. Do'akan saja semuanya lancar ya teh." begitu pintanya.

Sampai saat itupun tiba. Dengan berurai air mata dia datang padaku dan berucap-yang pasti dari ekspresinya saya tahu dia akan mengabarkan kabar buruk. Sungguh saya sedih karena dia gagal mendapatkan apa yang dia idamkan selama ini. Tapi saya bahagia karena Allah akan memberikan yang jauh lebih baik dari lelaki yang dia idamkan. Allah hanya memberinya sedkit ujian saja, dan saya yakin dia akan lulus dengan cum laude.

Terkadang kita memimpikan lelaki yang kelak menjadi pasangan hidup itu sempurna di mata kita. Tetapi harus diingat bahwa yang sempurna menurut kita, yang baik menurut kita, yang sholeh menurut kita, yang kaya menurut kita, belum tentu sempurna, baik, sholeh, kaya menurut Allah.

Terkadang banyak perempuan yang belum memutuskan untuk menikah karena belum menemukan sang calon pendamping yang sempurna menurut mata dan nafsunya. Tapi bukan karena itu kalau sampai saat ini saya belum mendapatkan pendamping. Sungguh saya berhusnudzon pada Allah. Saya yakin Allah telah menuliskan siapa kelak pendamping saya di lauhulmahfudz-Nya.

Begitupun terhadap saudari saya itu dan saudari-saudari saya yang lainnya. Yakinlah Allah sudah menyiapkan yang terbaik untuk kita. Maka sabarlah, sabar yaa ukhti. Karena sabar itu tidak ada batasnya.
oleh: Mega (Untuk saudariku yang kucintai karena Allah...)

70 ways to improve your English

1.      Start your own English language blog. Even for people who don't have to write in English, writing can be a great way of properly learning the kind of vocabulary you need to describe your own life and interests, and of thinking about how to stop making grammar mistakes. The problem most people have is that they don't know what to write about. One traditional way to make sure you write every day in English is to write an English diary (journal), and a more up to date way of doing this is to write a blog. Popular topics include your language learning experience, your experience studying abroad, your local area, your language, or translations of your local news into English.

2.      Write a news diary. Another daily writing task that can work for people who would be bored by writing about their own routines in a diary is to write about the news that you read and listen to everyday. If you include your predictions for how you think the story will develop (e.g. "I think Hillary will become president"), this can give you a good reason to read old entries another time, at which time you can also correct and mistakes you have made and generally improve what you have written.

3.      Sign up for a regular English tip. Some websites offer a weekly or even daily short English lesson sent to your email account. If your mobile phone has an e-mail address, it is also possible to have the tips sent to your phone to read on the way to work or school. Please note, however, that such services are not usually graded very well to the levels of different students, and they should be used as a little added extra or revision in your English studies rather than as a replacement for something you or your teacher have chosen more carefully as what you need to learn.

4.      Listen to MP3s. Although buying music on the internet is becoming more popular in many countries, not so many people know that you can download speech radio such as audio books (an actor reading out a novel) and speech radio. Not only is this better practice for your English than listening to English music, from sources like Scientific American, BBC and Australia's ABC Radio it is also free.

5.      Listen to English music. Even listening to music while doing something else can help a little for things like getting used to the natural rhythm and tone of English speech, although the more time and attention you give to a song the more you will learn from listening to it again in the future.

6.      Read the lyrics to a song. Although just listening to a song in English can be a good way of really learning the words of the chorus in an easily memorable way, if you want to really get something out of listening to English music you will need to take some time to read the lyrics of the song with a dictionary. If the lyrics are not given in the CD booklet, you may be able to find them on the internet, but please note that some lyrics sites deliberately put a few errors into their lyrics for copyright reasons. Once you have read and understood the lyrics,  if you then listen and read at the same time, this can be a good way of understanding how sounds change in fast, natural, informal speech.

7.      Sing karaoke in English. The next stage after understanding and memorising a song is obviously to sing it. Although some words have their pronunciation changed completely to fit in with a song, most of the words have the same sounds and stressed syllables as in normal speech. Remembering which words rhyme at the end of each line can also be a good way of starting to learn English pronunciation.

8.      Write a film, music, hotel or book review. Another motivating and easy way to make yourself write in English is to write a review for a site such as Amazon or Internet Movie Database. Many non-native speakers write reviews on sites like this, and if you have some special understanding of the book, music or film due to your first language or knowing the artist personally, that would be very interesting for the English speakers who read and write reviews on the site.

9.      Only search in English. Switching your search engine to the English language version of msn, yahoo, Google etc. can not only be a good way of practising fast reading for specific information in English, but could also give you a wider choice of sites to choose from and give you an idea of what foreigners are writing about your country and area.

10.  Read a book you've already read or seen the movie of in your own language. Although most language learners under Advanced level would probably learn more from reading a graded reader or something from the internet than they would from reading an original book written for English speakers, for some people reading something like Harry Potter in the original can be a great motivator to improve their English. To make this easier for you and make sure that it motivates you rather than just making your tired, try reading a book that you already know the story of. This not only makes it easier to understand and guess vocabulary, but you are also more likely to remember the language in it. If you have not read the book before, reading a plot summary from the internet can also help in the same way.

11.  Read a translation into English. Another way of making sure books are easier to understand is to choose a book that was originally translated into English, preferably from your own language. Even if you haven't read the book in your own language, you will find the English is written in a slightly simplified way that is more similar to how your own language is written than a book originally written in English would be.

12.  Skip the first ten pages. If you have given up with a book in English or are reading it very slowly, try skimming through the first ten pages or skipping them completely. The start of most books tend to be mainly description and are therefore full of difficult vocabulary and don't have a clear story line yet to help you understand what is happening and to motivate you to turn the next page. If the book is still too difficult even after the introductionary part is finished, it is probably time to give that book up for now and try it again after you have read some easier things.

13.  Read a book with lots of dialogue. Opening up books before you buy one and flicking through them to find one with lots of direct dialogue in it has several advantages. If there is less text on the page due to all the speech marks etc, this can make it easier to read and easier to write translations on. Dialogue is also much easier to understand than descriptive parts of a book, and is much more like the language you will want to learn in order to be able to speak English.

14.  Read English language comics. Even more than books with lots of dialogue, comics can be easy to understand and full of idiomatic language as it is actually spoken. There can be difficulties with slang, difficult to understand jokes and/ or dialogue written how people speak rather than with normal spellings, so try to choose which comic carefully. Usually, serious or adventure comics are easier to understand than funny ones.

15.  Read English language entertainment guides. Nowadays most big cities in the world have an English language magazine and/ or online guide to the movies, plays, exhibitions that are on in the city that week. Reading this in English is not only good value, but it could also guide you to places that English speakers are interested in and where you might hear some English spoken around you.

16.  Read English language magazines. Like books, if you can read two versions of the same magazine (Newsweek in your language and in English, for example), that could make understanding it much easier.

17.  Take a one week intensive course. Although you cannot expect to come out of a very short course speaking much better English than when you started it, if you continue studying a little over the following weeks and months, the knowledge you gained then will gradually come out and mean that your level of speaking, listening etc. are better than they would have been if you hadn't taken that course. This positive effect can still be true up to a year later.

18.  Follow your intensive course up with an extensive course. The more time you can spend studying English the better, but studying periodic intensive courses with a few hours of study a week in between is probably better value for money than any other system as it gives your brain time to subconsciously learn and start using the new language you have learnt before you introduce the next new "chunk" of language.

19.  Supplement your group class with a one to one class. Another good way to combine two different kinds of classes is to study both in a group class and one to one. Having a one to one teacher, even if just a couple of times a month, will mean that you can be taught exactly the language that you need, that you will have more time to speak, and that you can have as much error correction as you like.

20.  Supplement your one to one class with a group class. The benefits of having a group class are often less clear to students, but they include the fact that you will learn to deal with several people speaking at once, have a chance to practice skills such as interrupting people, and will hear a range of different viewpoints and topics.

21.  Teach your children or friends some English. Recent research has shown that elder children tend to be a couple of IQ points above their younger siblings, and the most likely reason is that explaining things to their little brothers and sisters gives them an intellectual boost. In the same way, teaching someone lower level than you the English you already know is a great way of permanently fixing that knowledge in your own brain.

22.  Ask your company to start English lessons. Even if you don't need to speak English at work, English lessons can be a fun and reasonably priced way for your company to spend their training budget in a popular way.

23.  Have English radio on in the background while you are doing your housework. Even if you are not listening carefully, it will help you get a feel for natural English rhythm and intonation.

24.  Play English language learning games on your Nintendo DS. Although such games can have quite random language and are unlikely to improve your ability to speak English on their own, the next time you hear or read the same language elsewhere it will be really fixed in your brain by the fact you have played a game with it in already. It is also a nice way of taking a break from your other English studies while also doing some English. To make sure it really is a break and to avoid wasting time learning language from the game that is not much used in daily life, don't bother writing down any new language you see in the game, but just try to learn it from playing the game again.

25.  Say or think what you are doing in English as you do your daily tasks. As you are doing your chores, try creating sentences describing what you are doing, e.g. ‘I am unscrewing the ketchup bottle cap'. This gets you used to thinking in English without translating, and can be a good way of seeing what simple vocabulary that is around you everyday you don't know. yet

26.  Watch English language films with English subtitles. For people who can't understand a film without subtitles but find themselves not listening at all when reading subtitles in their own language, this should be the way of watching a film that you should aim for. If it is too difficult to watch the whole film this way, try watching the (usually important) first 10 or 15 minutes of the film with subtitles in your own language, switch to English subtitles after that, and only switch back to subtitles in your own language if you get totally lost following the story of the film.

27.  Watch films in your language with English subtitles. If you are finding English films with English subtitles too difficult or you can't find English films with English subtitles in your local video shop, this is a good second best option. Looking for local films with English subtitles can also sometimes be a good sign of quality, as it means the producers of the film are expecting it to be popular internationally as well.

28.  Watch English films with subtitles in your language. Again, this is not as good practice as English language films with English subtitles, but is more relaxing, can be easier to find suitable DVDs for, and is also possible with VHS.

29.  Watch the same film or TV episode over and over again. This can not only save you money on DVDs, but will mean that you can really learn the language without having to study it. Some comedies can also get funnier the more you watch them, especially if you watch them with no subtitles and so understand a little more each time you watch it.

30.  Be realistic about your level. One thing that holds many language learners back is actually trying too hard and tackling something that their brain is not ready for yet. Checking your level with a level check test on the internet, by taking an English language test (FCE, CAE, IELTS, TOEIC, TOEFL etc.), or by taking a free trial level check and/ or lesson in a language school will help you find out what your level is and so choose suitable self-study materials.

31.  Be realistic about your reading level. Most researchers agree that people learn most when reading something they understand almost all of. If there are one or two words per page that you have never seen before, that is about the right level. If there are three or more on every page, you should switch to something easier and come back later.

32.  Read graded readers (= easy readers). These are books that are especially written for language learners like you, e.g. Penguin Readers. Although it can be difficult to find something as interesting as things written in newspapers or on the internet, in terms of learning the language only people who need to read for their work or an exam usually gain more from reading things written for graded readers. Graded readers of classic books like Charles Dickens also have the benefit of giving you a lot of knowledge about the literature, and culture more generally, of English speaking countries in a short time.

33.  Read the whole thing with no help. Although using a dictionary has been shown to help with both short term and long term learning of vocabulary, the fact that using it slows reading down can stop some people reading in English at all. Reading a whole book quickly through just for pleasure from time to time will help you remember how fun reading in another language can be.

34.  Read and learn everything. At the opposite extreme, it can be hard work but very satisfying to get to the end of a book knowing that you have learnt every word in it. See other tips on this page to make sure it is a book that is easy enough to do this with and to ensure that the vocabulary you learn is useful.

35.  Watching English children's films or TV programmes. Although some of the vocabulary you can learn from things made for children can be a bit strange (lots of animal names and maybe animal noises, including baby names for things), the fact that not only the language but the structure of the story is simplified can make it an easy and motivating thing to watch. Like good language learning materials, the same language is also often repeated to make it memorable, and the use of catchy songs etc. can increase this positive effect on your memory.  

36.  Read English children's books. This is very similar to watching English children's movies, but with the added advantage of there being more illustrations than adult books, which both helps you to understand the story and makes the page brighter and more motivating to read.

37.  Keep a list of language to learn, e.g. a vocab list. Even if you don't often find time to go though your vocab list and it keeps on building up, just the act of choosing which words you need to learn and writing them down on a special list can help you learn them.

38.  Go through your vocab list several times every day. If ticking off words on a vocabulary list on the train to work is inconvenient or embarrassing for you, you can keep your list of words to learn as an entry in your electronic dictionary, as a mobile phone to do list or as a text file in your MP3 player (e.g. iPod). Although the time spent transferring the information between different formats like these may seem wasted, in fact any time you spend using the vocabulary like this will help you learn it.

39.  Convert your vocab list to English only. One way to stop yourself translating and therefore increase your speed of comprehension and production is to learn all your vocabulary without the use of your own first language. Ways you can write a vocab list in only English include with synonyms (words with the same meaning, e.g. "tall" and "high"); with opposites ("high" and "low"); with pronunciation factors such as number of syllables (the number of beats, e.g. three for "de- ci- sion") and the word stress (the syllable that is pronounced louder and longer, e.g. the second syllable in "baNAna"); and gapped sentences (e.g. "I am not _________________ in science fiction" for the word "interested").

40.  Cross out and delete. Crossing out or deleting words, sentences or whole pages that you have learnt can be a great motivator, and save your list of things to learn becoming too big to handle.

41.  Throw everything away and start again. One of the things that can put most people off learning is a stack of half finished books or a huge list vocabulary waiting to be learnt. Simply getting rid of all that and starting again with something new from zero can be a great motivator and get your studies underway again.

42.  Label things in your house or office with post-its. The easiest vocabulary to learn is the vocabulary of things you see and use everyday. If you can write the names of things around you on slips of paper and stick them on the real thing, this is a great way of learning useful vocabulary. If you can leave them there over the following days and weeks, this is a very easy way of revising the vocabulary until it is properly learnt.

43.  Label a drawing. For people who can't put labels on real things, the next best option is to take a photo of a real place in your life like your office, print it out, and then draw lines to all of the things you can see in the picture and label them in English with the help of a dictionary. You can do the same thing with places you pass through everyday like the station. Because you will see the same thing again and again, it should be easy to really learn the words for those things.

44.  Keep a diary in English. This is a popular method of making sure you use English everyday for people who don't often speak English and can't think of things to write about. The fact that you are writing about real things that have happened to you means that any words you look up in the dictionary will be vocabulary that is useful for you and easy to learn.

45.  Online chat. The closest thing to speaking for people who don't have the chance to speak English is online chat, as you have to think and respond quickly, and the language is short and informal just like speech.

46.  Listen to the radio news in English. You can make this easier by reading the news in English first, or even just by reading or listening to the news in your own language.

47.  Read an English language newspaper. Freebie newspapers like "Metro" in London are usually the easiest to understand, followed by mid-brow titles like "The Daily Express" or "The Daily Mail" in English. Popular newspapers like "The Sun" are more difficult because of the idiomatic, slangy use of language and the number of jokes in the headlines and articles.

48.  Write fiction in English, e.g. short stories. For people who find writing a diary about things that happen to them everyday boring, the best thing is to let your imagination go and write about whatever comes into your head. The advantage of this is that if you can't think of how to say something in English, you can just change the story to something that is easier to explain. Perhaps the easiest way to start writing fiction in English is with a diary, changing any details you like to make it more interesting and adding more and more fantasy as the weeks go on.

49.  English language exercise videos. This is quite similar to how babies learn, by listening, watching and copying. It is also good for your health!

50.  Learn a famous speech or poem in English by heart. Although you may never hear or get the chance to say exactly that line, having one memorable example of an English grammatical form in your head can make it much easier to learn other examples of the same grammar as you hear them. It is also something you can practice over and over without being as boring as grammatical drills.

51.  Get tipsy (= a little drunk) before speaking English. This can not only improve your fluency while you are drinking, but can also improve your confidence in future days and weeks by showing you that you can communicate what you want to say.

52.  Use a dictionary while you are watching a movie. Films often have the same words many times, so if you look up important words the first or second time you hear them, you should have learnt them by the end of the film. It is easier to use a dictionary if you watch with English subtitles.

53.  Learn and use the phonemic script. Although there are many sounds in English, there are even more spellings. By learning the phonemic script and writing vocabulary down with it, you can both add another stage to your vocabulary learning that should help you learn it more thoroughly, and improve your pronunciation. It can also make things easier for you by stopping you trying to pronounce different spellings of the same pronunciation different ways.

54.  Learn some spelling rules. Many people think that English spelling is random, but in fact most words follow some kind of rule, e.g. the "magic E" that changes the pronunciation of "mad" and "made".

55.  Record your own voice. For people who don't have much or any correction of pronunciation from a teacher, recording yourself and listening back makes it easier to hear whether you are really making the English sounds that you are trying to or not.

56.  Use computer pronunciation analysis. Although most programmes that claim to tell you when you are pronouncing correctly or not don't actually do that, listening many times and seeing how your voice changes as you try to match the sounds and waveform given by a pronunciation CD ROM can be good practice and more motivating than just recording your own voice.

57.  Learn as many words as you can of one category, e.g. animal words. Learning similar words together can both expand your overall vocabulary and make them easier to learn by forming links between the words in your brain.

58.  Take holidays abroad. This is not only a good opportunity to speak English in situations where you really have to make yourself understood in order to live, but it is also a good motivator to study English seriously in the weeks and months before your trip. If possible, also try to use English even when you could use your own language, e.g. when you pick a guided tour of a museum or historic place or when you book a flight on the internet, and try to avoid package tours.

59.  Draw pictures of the words you want to learn. Especially if you are artistic, this can be a better way of learning vocabulary than writing translations or example sentences.

60.  Find a foreign boyfriend or girlfriend. No tips on how to do this here, but everyone agrees that getting or even just looking for a date in English can be a great motivator to improve your language skills.

61.  Arrange a conversation exchange. Swapping lessons and conversation with someone who wants to learn your language can be a good alternative for those who aren't looking for romance, or can sometimes lead onto dating for those who are!

62.  Sign up for an English language exam. Even if you don't need to take an exam and don't want to or can't take a special course to study for it, paying to take an exam like TOEFL, TOEIC, IELTS or FCE can really motivate you take your English studies seriously.

63.  Model your accent on one particular actor. e.g. try to speak like Robert De Niro. Students who say they want to sound more like a native speaker have the problem that native speakers don't sound all that much like each other. Choosing one model can make the task of improving your pronunciation more clear, and is quite fun. Doing an impression of that person also makes a good party trick.

64.  Use an English-English dictionary. Trying to use a bilingual dictionary less and switching to a monolingual one can help you to stop translating in you head when you are speaking or listening, and other useful English vocabulary can come up while you are using the dictionary.

65.  Occasionally talk to or e-mail your friends in English. Many people find this a bit false or embarrassing, but if you think of it as a study club and set a particular time and/ or place, it is no different from studying maths together.

66.  Go to an English or Irish pub. As well as having a menu in English and being a good way of finding out something about the culture of English speaking countries, you might also find there are free English language listings magazines, English language sports on the TV and/ or foreign people you can speak to.

67.  Buy a speaking electronic dictionary. Although most electronic dictionaries are not as good as paper ones for the amount of information they give you about each word, some of them have the very useful function of saying the word with the correct pronunciation.

68.  Learn your electronic dictionary vocabulary list. Most electronic dictionaries also have a button which you can push to see the last 30 or more words you looked up. By deleting words you decide are useless or you have already learnt from this list, you can use it as a "to do list" of words to learn that you can look at several times a day in the train etc.

69.  Switch operating system to English. Changing the operating language of your mobile phone, video recorder etc. to English can be an easy way of making sure you use the language everyday.

70.  Set goals. Deciding how many hours you want to study, how many words you want to learn or what score you want to get in a test are all good ways of making sure you do extra study.

e-learning for toddlers

Basic techniques

No matter how eager some adults might be for children to read and write, we need to be aware of each child’s readiness. To be ready to read, a child has to be able to focus their eyes on the page, line and word. To be ready to write, they have to have mastered a certain degree of eye-hand coordination. As we have stated, the emphasis in e-learning for toddlers is on listening and speaking. There are also a number of subtle pre-reading and pre-writing activities which help children develop the muscle coordination they need for reading and writing.

By moving towards the development of these important skills carefully and systematically, we empower the learners with a feeling of confidence and success.

Working with the Picture Cards

The purpose of the Picture Cards is to provide a visual means of introducing most of the new words. In addition to this, by providing a visual anchor in the memory, they replace the written word. In the lesson plans, you will find suggestions for how to work with the Picture Cards in each lesson. These suggestions are based on the following principles of teaching:

·         In the early stages of teaching a foreign language, the meanings of new words should be taught with as much visual support as possible.

·         The principle listening before speaking applies. The children should get used to a word’s pronunciation and intonation first, before they are required to repeat it.

·         All the senses should be involved when introducing new words. Pictures, pronunciation and intonation, as well as learning techniques involving motor skills, complement each other and help to fix a word in the children’s long-term memory.

·         Repeating the words as often as necessary leads to even more lasting storage of the new words. No more than one or two minutes is required for this. The Picture Cards are extremely well suited for such revision stages.

Pahit Manisnya Pengalaman Cinta

Mencintai seseorang merupakan pengalaman yang sangat mendebarkan. Mencintai seseorang membuat hati kita hangat. Jantung kita berpacu lebih cepat. Senyum pun selalu menghias wajah kita. Banyak sekali pelajaran yang bisa kita ambil dari pengalaman cinta yang kita alami baik itu pengalaman yang manis maupun pengalaman yang pahit.

Cinta banyak memberikan pengalaman yang manis. Ketika kita kecil kita mendapatkan limpahan cinta yang banyak sekali dari orangtua kita, ayah dan ibu, nenek dan kakek, paman dan bibi, kakak dan adik. Pengalaman cinta yang kita dapat ketika kecil akan berdampak pada diri kita ketika dewasa, ketika menjadi ayah atau ibu, kakek atau nenek, paman atau bibi. Pengalaman cinta yang indah yang di dapat di masa kecil akan membuat kita pun mencintai anak-anak, cucu-cucu, maupun keponakan-keponakan kita.

Pengalaman cinta di masa remaja pun akan indah dikenang. Kisah cinta di masa remaja sering juga disebut cinta monyet. Entahlah mengapa cinta di masa remaja disebut cinta monyet. Yang pasti cinta di masa remaja bisa dianggap hanya ‘cinta-cintaan’, cinta yang tidak serius dan kekanak-kanakan. Tapi pengalaman cinta yang didapat dari cinta di masa remaja pun tidak bisa dianggap remeh. Hati yang hangat, jantung yang berdebar keras dan sungingan senyum di wajah pun hadir dalam cinta ‘monyet’. Sungguh pengalaman yang mendebarkan ketika menunggu orang yang ditaksir di luar kelasnya ataupun di gerbang sekolah. Hati ini akan berbunga-bunga ketika orang yang ditaksir membalas senyum kita. Dan rasanya seperti melayang di udara ketika orang yang kita taksir membalas perasaan cinta kita. Tetapi hati ini akan merasa remuk redam, tangis pun pecah, berkotak-kotak kertas tissue menjadi sampah di samping tempat tidur kita ketika cinta berakhir. Tetapi ini semua memberikan pengalaman cinta yang hebat memberikan kita pelajaran yang hebat bagi kita untuk menghadapi cinta yang baru di masa depan.

Pengalaman cinta hadir untuk kita ambil hikmahnya. Pengalaman cinta tidak hadir untuk membuat kita menjadi terbuai dan terpuruk. Pengalaman cinta yang indah tidak membuat kita terbuai pun pengalaman cinta yang pahit tidak membuat kita terpuruk. Kita ambil hikmah dari pengalaman cinta kita yang manis bahwa cinta bisa membuat hidup kita lebih semangat dan bergairah. Cinta bisa membentuk karakter diri kita. Orang yang di kelilingi oleh orang-orang yang mencintainya akan menjadi orang yang penuh cinta. Pun kita ambil hikmah dari pengalaman cinta kita yang pahit. Pengalaman cinta yang pahit akan mengajarkan cara untuk bertahan ketika cinta berakhir. Pengalaman cinta yang pahit akan mengajarkan kepada kita bahwa tidak ada cinta yang abadi di dunia ini sehingga kita harus selalu mempersembahkan cinta kita yang paling tinggi kepada Tuhan karena Tuhan tidak akan menyia-nyiakan cinta umat-Nya. Begitulah, pengalaman cinta hadir untuk kita ambil hikmahnya.
oleh: Mega

Pernikahan

Menurut bahasa, nikah adalah penyatuan. Diartikan juga akad atau hubungan badan. Jadi bisa diartikan bahwa pernikahan adalah penyatuan dua orang, perempuan dan laki-laki.  Menurut Undang-Undang Nomor 1 Tahun 1974 pengertian pernikahan adalah ikatan lahir batin antara seorang pria dengan seorang wanita sebagai suami isteri dengan tujuan membentuk keluarga (rumah tangga) yang bahagia dan kekal berdasarkan Ketuhanan Yang Maha Esa.

Pernikahan adalah salah satu bentuk ibadah yang kesuciannya perlu dijaga oleh kedua belah pihak baik suami maupun istri. Pernikahan bertujuan untuk membentuk keluarga yang bahagia sejahtera dan kekal selamanya. Pernikahan memerlukan kematangan dan persiapan fisik dan mental karena menikah adalah sesuatu yang sakral dan dapat menentukan jalan hidup seseorang.

Pernikahan tidak selalu berjalan mulus. Ada sandungan-sandungan kecil ataupun riak-riak kecil dalam sebuah pernikahan. Tetapi segala rintangan pasti bisa dihadapi oleh pasangan suami istri. Berikut adalah yang harus dijaga dalam pernikahan sehingga halangan dan rintangan dapat dilalui.

1.         Kesamaan visi dan misi dalam mencapai tujuan pernikahan

Ketika pasangan memutuskan untuk melakukan pernikahan, maka mereka seharusnya saling mengemukakan visi dan misi mereka dalam mencapai tujuan dari pernikahan mereka. Apa yang harus dilakukan mereka untuk mencapai tujuan yang ingin mereka capai dalam pernikahan mereka. Sebagai contoh adalah ketika mereka sudah mempunyai anak-anak. Pasangan suami istri harus mendiskusikan tentang cara mendidik anak-anak mereka. Tentang bagaimana peran dan porsi mereka dalam mendidik anak. Jangan sampai pola pendidikan yang diberikan oleh mereka saling bertentangan sehingga menimbulkan percekcokkan.

2.         Saling percaya

Pasangan suami istri harus saling percaya dalam mengarungi bahtera rumah tangganya. Suami harus percaya bahwa istrinya mencintai dan menghormatinya. Begitupun sang istri, harus mempercayai bahwa suaminya mencintai, menyayangi dan menghormatinya.

3.         Saling menghormati dan menghargai

Dalam hal ini pasangan harus menyadari posisinya masing-masing sehingga tercipta suasana saling menghormati dalam pernikahan mereka. Suami wajib paham dan melaksanakan kewajibannya terhadap pernikahannnya sehingga dia tidak akan menuntut haknya sebelum menunaikan kewajibannya. Begitupun sebaliknya seorang istri.  Sebagai contoh adalah  ketika seorang suami mempunyai seorang istri yang juga bekerja, terkadang suami selalu ingin dilayani istrinya secara ‘full time’. Sebaiknya suami mengerti dengan kesibukan istrinya sendiri. Menghormati apa yang dilakukan oleh istrinya.

4.         Saling berkasih sayang

Pernikahan didasarkan pada saling mencintai. Jika tidak ada kasih saying dan cinta dalam sebuah pernikahan, maka akan hambar juga suasana kasih dalam pernikahan tersebut. Rasa cinta harus terus dipupuk sepanjang usia pernikahan sehingga pijar cahaya cinta tidak hanya bersinar diawal pernikahan tapi akan berlangsung sepanjang pernikahan.

5.         Saling terbuka terhadap pasangan

Keterbukaan adalah hal yang sangat penting dalam pernikahan. Hal-hal sepele yang berkaitan dengan keterbukaan akan menjadi masalah yang besar jika didiamkan. Sebagai contoh adalah keterbukaan masalah gaji sang suami. Suami harus jujur tentang gaji yang didapat kepada istrinya. Bukan berarti suami harus menyerahkan seluruh pengasilannya tetapi suami harus jujur tentang berapa penghasilannya dan untuk apa saja penghasilannya itu dipergunakan. Contoh lain adalah ketika suami atau istri memberi uang untuk orangtua masing-masing. Kadang-kadang suami tidak jujur tentang berapa banyak dia memberikan uang kepada orangtuanya sehingga dapat menimbulkan kecemburuan di pihak istri. Ada baiknya istri yang memberikan uang kepada orangtua suaminya dan sebaliknya suami yang memberikan uang kepada orangtua istrinya sehingga tidak terjadi saling curiga dan cemburu.

6.         Saling mengisi kekurangan pasangan

Tidak dipungkiri bahwa manusia itu tidak sempurna sehingga sebuah pernikahan menjadi jembatan bagi manusia untuk saling mengisi kekosongan dan kekurangan yang dimiliki oleh manusia lain. Sebagai contoh, jika suami kurang pandai dalam mengatur keuangan maka istrilah yang mengisi kekurangan suaminya. Atau jika istri kurang pandai dalam membersihkan rumah maka suami membantu untuk mengisi kekurangannya. Atau kekurangan suami sebagai seorang ayah. Terkadang seorang laki-laki sulit dalam memahami anak-anak sehingga ketika dalam meluapkan emosi suami menumpahkan kekesalannya kepada anak-anaknya. Hal ini bisa membuat istri sebagai seorang istri menjadi ikut sakit hati dan suasana ini bisa memicu ketegangan dan pertengkarang antara suami dan istri. Sebaiknya dalam hal ini suami atau istri dapat meredam perasaan egoisnya masing-masing.

7.         Romantisme

Suasana romantis tidak hanya pada awal pernikahan saja. Pergi berdua menonton film tanpa anak-anak atau pergi berlibur berdua saja di akhir pekan mutlak diperlukan bukan pada saat awal pernikahan saja. Hal tersebut juga mesti dilakukan sepanjang pernikahan. Terkadang sebuah pernikahan terasa hambar dikarenakan kesibukan masing-masing. Istri sibuk dengan pekerjaannya, mengurus rumah tangga dan anak-anak sedangkan suami sibuk dengan pekerjaannnya mencari nafkah. Sehingga waktu untuk mereka berdua memadu kasih sudah tidak ada lagi dan hal itu lambat laun memicu pertengkaran atau saling tidak peduli diantara pasangan suami istri.

8.         Seks

Seks pasti hadir dalam pernikahan. Banyak pertengkaran dalam pernikahan karena masalah seks. Dalam hal ini harus ada saling memahami dan pengertian diantara pasangan suami istri. Terkadang istri tidak mengkomunikasikan ketidakpuasannya terhadap suami dan suami pun tidak memahami ketidakpuasan istrinya sehingga hal sepele ini bisa memicu pertengkaran yang jika tidak dikomunikasikan maka akan menjadi masalah yang berlarut-larut dan semakin besar. Tidak jarang sebuah perceraian terjadi karena masalah ini.

Dengan memahami hal-hal apa saja yang harus dijaga dalam sebuah pernikahan diharapkan hal-hal buruk yang mungkin terjadi bisa diminimalisir. Banyak hal-hal negatif yang bisa dihindari atau diminimalisir. Akhirnya karena cinta kepada Tuhan lah yang dapat menjaga keberlangsungan sebuah pernikahan.

Oleh: Laila Mega

Gambaran Hitam Putihnya Cinta

Gambaran Hitam Putihnya Cinta

Cinta tergambar menjadi cinta yang hitam dan cinta yang putih. Cinta yang tercela dan cinta yang terpuji.  Gambaran cinta yang hitam terlukis dalam kisah cinta yang tragis dan merugi  sedangkan gambaran cinta yang putih terlukis dalam kisah cinta yang suci, terpuji dan indah. Dunia senantiasa diwarnai oleh hitam putihnya cinta manusia. Ada yang benar dalam melabuhkan cintanya dan tidak sedikit pula ada yang salah melabuhkan cintanya.

Gambaran cinta yang hitam maupun putih telah terlukis dalam berbagai kisah. Kisah terkenal yang menggambarkan hitamnya cinta adalah kisah cintanya Firaun terhadap kekafirannya, cintanya terhadap dirinya sendiri sehingga bersikeras mengganggap dirinya sebagai Tuhan.

Gambaran cinta hitam terlukis jelas dalam kisah Abu Jahal yang begitu merindukan neraka sehingga sulit sekali bagi dirinya untuk mengucapkan Laa Illaha Illallaah. Abu Jahal pernah berkata ketika dia ditanya apa yang menyebabkan dia masuk neraka lalu dia menjawab “Karena aku mabuk cinta. Janganlah kalian mencemooh karena cintaku yang membara sebab aku akan bergeming terhadap cemoohan kalian”. Jelaslah sudah gambaran cinta Abu Jahal adalah gambaran cinta yang sangat hitam pekat.

Gambaran cinta hitam di masa kini pun sangat terlihat jelas. Kisah cinta manusia yang mendalam terhadap dunia yang sementara. Seyogyanya dunia dijadikan tempat hanya sebagai tempat untuk sebentar melepas lelah sebelum menuju tujuan sebenar. Seyogyanya dunia dijadikan tempat untuk mencari bekal yang cukup untuk akhirat. Tetapi yang terjadi kebanyakan manusia terlalu mencintai dunia seakan-akan dia akan hidup selamanya di dunia hingga melupakan kehidupannya yang kekal di akhirat.

Gambaran cinta yang putih dan suci akan senantiasa terlukis beriringan dengan gambaran cinta yang tercela. Cinta senantiasa mengundang kebahagian meskipun harus menempuh jalan yang terjal dan melewati hadangan badai yang dahsyat. Sesuatu yang sulit akan akan terasa mudah jika cinta telah terpatri dalam hati dan terpancar dalam perbuatan.

Cintanya terhadap surga telah membuat sahabat Rasulullah yang bernama Anas Bin Madhr melesat menerjang barisan musih untuk menjemput kesyahidannya dalam perang Uhud.

Cinta dan rindunya terhadap surga telah membuat Bilal senantiasa mempersembahkan shalat dua rakaat setiap selesai wudhu. Istana Bilal di surga selalu menyenandungkan kalimat:

“Dan itulah surga yang diwariskan kepada kamu disebabkan amal-amal yang dahulu kamu kerjakan.” (QS: Az-Zukhruf:72)

Gambaran cinta Rasulullah dilukiskan dengan sangat indah dan mulia. Cinta Rasulullah terhadap umatnya sangat kuat hingga di detik-detik akhir hidupnya beliau tetap memikirkan umatnya sepeninggalan beliau. Beliau sangat berbahagia ketika Jibril mengabarkan bahwa Allah berfirman pada Jibril: “Kuharamkan surga bagi siapa saja kecuali umat Muhammad telah berada di dalamnya”. Mendengar hal itu legalah Rasulullah.

Jadi, apakah gambaran cinta yang telah kita lukiskan selama ini?. Apakah cinta telah kita labuhkan dengan tepat. Apakah cinta kita terhadap surga lebih besar terhadap cinta kita terhadap neraka ataukah sebaliknya. Apakah cinta kita terhadap akhirat yang kekal lebih besar dibandingkan cinta kita terhadap dunia yang fana ini ataukah sebaliknya. Apakah cinta agung Rasulullah terhadap kita telah kita balas dengan sebenar. Hanya kitalah yang dapat menentukan gambaran cinta yang manakah yang akan kita lukiskan dalam kanvas kehidupan kita. Semoga kita melabuhan cinta kita pada cinta yang terpuji.

(oleh: Laila Mega)

Perkembangan Anak

Perkembangan Anak

Oleh: AsianBrain.com Content Team

Perkembangan anak penting dijadikan perhatian khusus bagi orangtua. Sebab, proses tumbuh kembang anak akan mempengaruhi kehidupan mereka pada masa mendatang.

Jika perkembangan anak luput dari perhatian orangtua (tanpa arahan dan pendampingan orangtua), maka anak akan tumbuh seadanya sesuai dengan yang hadir dan menghampiri mereka.

Kelak, orangtua akan mengalami penyesalan yang mendalam.

Apa saja tahapan perkembangan anak?

Perkembangan anak merupakan segala perubahan yang terjadi pada usia anak, yaitu pada masa:

• Infancy toddlerhood (usia 0-3 tahun)
• Early childhood (usia 3-6 tahun)
• Middle childhood (usia 6-11 tahun)

Perubahan yang terjadi pada diri anak tersebut meliputi perubahan pada aspek berikut:

• fisik (motorik)
• emosi
• kognitif
• psikososial

Aspek-aspek perkembangan anak

1. Perkembangan Fisik (Motorik)
   Perkembangan fisik (motorik) merupakan proses tumbuh kembang kemampuan gerak seorang anak. Setiap gerakan yang dilakukan anak merupakan hasil pola interaksi yang kompleks dari berbagai bagian dan sistem dalam tubuh yang dikontrol oleh otak.
   
   Perkembangan fisik (motorik) meliputi perkembangan motorik kasar dan motorik halus.
• Perkembangan motorik kasar
  Kemampuan anak untuk duduk, berlari, dan melompat termasuk contoh perkembangan motorik kasar. Otot-otot besar dan sebagian atau seluruh anggota tubuh digunakan oleh anak untuk melakukan gerakan tubuh.
  
  Perkembangan motorik kasar dipengaruhi oleh proses kematangan anak. Karena proses kematangan setiap anak berbeda, maka laju perkembangan seorang anak bisa saja berbeda dengan anak lainnya.
• Perkembangan motorik halus
  Adapun perkembangan motorik halus merupakan perkembangan gerakan anak yang menggunakan otot-otot kecil atau sebagian anggota tubuh tertentu.
  
  Perkembangan pada aspek ini dipengaruhi oleh kesempatan anak untuk belajar dan berlatih. Kemampuan menulis, menggunting, dan menyusun balok termasuk contoh gerakan motorik halus.
2. Perkembangan Emosi
   Perkembangan pada aspek ini meliputi kemampuan anak untuk mencintai; merasa nyaman, berani, gembira, takut, dan marah; serta bentuk-bentuk emosi lainnya. Pada aspek ini, anak sangat dipengaruhi oleh interaksi dengan orangtua dan orang-orang di sekitarnya.
   
   Emosi yang berkembang akan sesuai dengan impuls emosi yang diterimanya. Misalnya, jika anak mendapatkan curahan kasih sayang, mereka akan belajar untuk menyayangi.
3. Perkembangan Kognitif
   Pada aspek koginitif, perkembangan anak nampak pada kemampuannya dalam menerima, mengolah, dan memahami informasi-informasi yang sampai kepadanya. Kemampuan kognitif berkaitan dengan perkembangan berbahasa (bahasa lisan maupun isyarat), memahami kata, dan berbicara.
4. Perkembangan Psikososial
   Aspek psikososial berkaitan dengan kemampuan anak untuk berinteraksi dengan lingkungannya. Misalnya, kemampuan anak untuk menyapa dan bermain bersama teman-teman sebayanya.
   
   Dengan mengetahui aspek-aspek perkembangan anak, orangtua dan pendidik bisa merancang dan memberikan rangsangan serta latihan agar keempat aspek tersebut berkembang secara seimbang.
   
   Rangsangan atau latihan tidak bisa terfokus hanya pada satu atau sebagian aspek. Tentunya, rangsangan dan latihan tersebut diberikan dengan tetap memerhatikan kesiapan anak, bukan dengan paksaan.